Akatsuki Valentines Day
by AkiraDawn
Summary: It's Valentine's Day in the Akatsuki apartment! Don't you wonder what everyone has planned? Do you honestly think that they will do something together? Enjoy! Rated for language...and some other things.
1. Chapter 1 Valentine Plans

Akatsuki Valentines Day

Happy Valentines Day everyone! I hope this brightens up the day for you all!

Some Background….

Well, Itachi and Deidara were more wound up than ever for Valentines Day. It was the first year that they both had girlfriends to spoil. Now, Itachi was freaking out because he and Dana were going to a ski club for the weekend. Deidara and Marisol were going to a really quaint Italian place in town that served great pizza. Then they were going to a desert sampling in one of the local hotel restaurants, finally, they would end their evening at Marisol's and no one would see Deidara or Itachi until the next day. As for Everyone else's plans? You shall soon find out…

"Do you have any idea how much I hate Valentines Day?" Sasori asked Kisame.

"I hate it too! And you know what, Zetsu hates it!" Kisame said. The whole time this conversation was going on, Tobi was arranging an arrangement of Roses on the kitchen counter. Hidan was excited because he was going to a cakewalk at the local civic center for Valentines Day. Kakuzu had decided to go to an RV and Boat Show. He invited Zetsu, Kisame and Sasori, but they declined.

"Well, you know, every Valentines Day it's the same thing for us…we sit here and don't do shit, we're always alone." Sasori was being overly mopey.

"You know Sasori, if you wouldn't be so droopy about everything and all feeling sorry for yourself maybe we would have fun this year!" Kisame scolded.

"Yeah Sasori, your always the one who drags it down every year." Zetsu told him.

"Hey, Kisame let's finally rent the complete season of Seinfeld, we've always talked about doing that!"

"Oh my god! That's a great idea Zetsu! We can order out from that Chinese place and watch Seinfeld all night!"

"I do not want to watch Seinfeld all night with you two!" Sasori complained.

"You know what! Screw you Sasori, we're going to have fun for once!"

"Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Itachi, what should I wear, what should I wear, yeah?" Deidara was in panic mode.

"I don't know! You help me pack and I'll help you pick something out." Itachi said. So Deidara ran off to help Itachi with his weekend lodge wear.

Meanwhile, in a more estrogen filled apartment across town….

"Thanks for coming over Dana." Marisol told her.

"Oh, don't worry about it! I love picking out other people's sex clothes, yeah." Dana said

"Good! And you so brought your options too, right?"

"Right here in my Dior bag, yeah."

"Great! Okay, so here's what I have picked out." Dana looked at what Marisol had spread out on her bed.

"Hmmmmm." Dana studied Marisol's options carefully. "Well, this is really sexy, but it's too complicated…too many strings, yeah. Now this, this just doesn't leave anything to the imagination, yeah. Even though you can never go wrong with just a thong, yeah. Hmmmm, now you're getting on the right track with the tank top, yeah. I don't know if you've figured it out but Deidara is into simple….nothing turns him on like simple, yeah. Trust me….he and I shared a wall for 3 years, yeah." Dana said.

"So, what do you suggest? Marisol asked with shining eyes."

"This white tank top and panties that don't match at all, yeah." Dana's eyes were glistening just as much.

"Oh my god, my life is so much easier now. That's the easiest thing in the world to change into when we get back from dinner! I love your brother for not being into complicated lingerie! Okay! Now let me see what you brought." Marisol said. Dana opened up her Dior tote and spread everything out beside Marisol's things.

"Oh Dana, god this is going to be tough. I reeeeally like this black satin. Of course this is really slutty…I like it! Damn, Dana I really like the bikini…but why do you have a bikini?"

"For the Jacuzzi at the lodge, yeah." Dana's eyes sparkled.

"Oh wow! Well, here's what I think you should do. Use the bikini AND the black satin." Marisol said. Both girls were delighted with these final decisions.

Meanwhile, back in the land of the packing frenzy…..

"Okay, Itachi, now tell me what to wear, yeah."

"Well, I got to pack everything I wanted first, so I'm okay with this. How about…oh god…yes! The Calvin Klein pants and the cream cashmere V-neck sweater with the black fitted shirt underneath it!" Deidara swooned.

"It's perfect! Because I'll wear the scarf dad designed for me and my black wool coat, yeah! Itachi, I'm so excited I could explode something, yeah! Wait, what am I going to wear home the next day, yeah? Never mind, I'm on it, yeah." Deidara said flipping through a door.

Valentines Day was definitely taking shape….


	2. Chapter 2 The Evening Starts

Hey everyone! Sorry about the slow update, I'll try not to let so much time pass again!

It was officially February 14th. Tobi was in the kitchen making a mess with red sprinkles for his Valentines cookies. More sprinkles were on the floor than the cookies. Itachi came wobbling down the hall with 3 suitcases for a trip that would only last two days.

"Deidara! Call you sister, tell her I'm on my way!" Itachi said frantically lugging crap to the door.

"Okay, yeah." Deidara said ironing his pants.

"Deidara! Have a cookie! I made 4 dozen!" Tobi said shoving a poorly decorated cookie at Deidara.

"Tobi, I appreciate the gesture and everything. But I'm going to dinner tonight and I can not waste my calories on cookies that you didn't even follow a recipe to make, yeah! What if they taste like shit, yeah?" Tobi thought a moment.

"Well, they might. But I made them with love!" his eyes sparkled.

"Oh god that's so cliché, yeah!" Deidara said rolling his eyes. "Hey, Itachi what did you get Dana for Valentines Day, yeah?"

"Oh damn it! I forgot to show it to you! I have to go or I would unpack it, let's just say there isn't much to it. Okay bye, see you all on Sunday!" And with that Itachi ran out the door.

"Kisame, I'm going to the movie rental place to get the Seinfeld seasons. Should I get anything else?" Zetsu asked.

"Yeah, we're out of 2 liters of pop, get a few while you're out." Kisame had told him.

"If I'm not here when you get back I hope you guys have fun tonight." Deidara said running the final steam setting over his pants. It was now time for him to finish getting dressed.

"Bye Deidara, I'm off to that bitchin cakewalk at the senior center, seriously!" Hidan called. He was pumped about the cakewalk and in the past his luck with cakewalks had been on his side. As for Kakuzu well he was still getting ready for the RV and boat show at the Civic Center Arena. It was one are where Hidan and Kakuzu could never agree….Kakuzu was into RV's and Hidan was all about boats. However, you would think that the tow would get along well at an RV and boat show….not hardly and thus they had decided to go their separate ways for Valentines Day. As soon as Hidan was out the door Kakuzu ran into the living room bitching his head off.

"God! Can you believe he would actually go to some stupid cakewalk? I mean there are going to be so many old people there and he'll come home smelling funny! You know? That old people smell? God! It's the Senior Center for crying out loud!" Kakuzu ranted.

"Kakuzu! Here have a cookie! I made them in the shape of hearts!" Tobi said enthusiastically. Kakuzu took a poorly decorated cookie and examined it.

"Tobi….why the hell do your cookies smell like orange peel and cheese?"

"Oh well that was because I put orange peel in them! But….there was a piece of cheddar cheese lying on top the orange. I had put it there last night so I wouldn't forget it for my sandwich today!" Kakuzu thought about what Tobi had just said. He shrugged his shoulders and took a bite of the cookie. It was truly nasty….

"Bye! I'm leaving. Unlike Itachi, I'll be back tomorrow, yeah. Marisol's roommates are all going to be back by like 2:00 am tonight, yeah." Deidara said.

"Oh I see, so it's not okay for you two to have sex at her place with all her roommates there….but it's just happy fine here at our apartment?" Sasori said with much disgruntlement.

"That is like so different, yeah! Her roommates are like…..jealous or something, yeah. I don't want them to go all bitch on her, yeah." Deidara argued.

"Right, because I never go all bitch on you." Sasori said sarcastically. Deidara ignored Sasori's comment, grabbed his overnight Versace bag and headed out the door. About twenty minutes passed and Sasori already had something to say…

"Who wants to bet that…." Kisame cut Sasori off.

"No, Sasori we are not betting on anything. I have lost so much money to you betting. You're getting too good.

"Just let me finish. Who do you think will get married first, Itachi or Deidara?"

"What? Neither of them. Could you really see Itachi married? And Deidara? Oh god!" Kisame said cleaning up Tobi's mess in the kitchen.

"Hey listen to me. Within the next 2 years one of those two will be married. I can't really say which one, but it's only a matter of time." Sasori said convinced that his theory was correct.

"Well, I'm not getting in on this bet. You've already spent my money on that new phone of yours and I really don't want to lose more money to you." Kisame said. "And my god, don't ever, EVER let Tobi play with sprinkles in the kitchen again. He got them in our stove!"

"Yeah, you're right. Of course, it was Kakuzu who handed him those sprinkles in the first place, that dumb ass! Did he honestly think that Tobi wouldn't make a mess?" Sasori said.

"Where is Tobi?" Kisame wondered.

"He's in the bathroom washing the red food coloring off himself." Sasori responded.

Meanwhile, further up north at the snowy cabin…

"Oh my god, Itachi! This place is like…just so beautiful, yeah." Dana said as she and Itachi pulled their luggage into their ski lodge room.

"Yes Dana, it is beautiful here." Itachi told her. "Hey why don't you and I get changed and hit the slopes for a little while today, then we'll have dinner later, and after that I don't think I need to tell you what we'll do." Dana thought a minute.

"You mean….unpack, yeah? Because you're right that is going to be a major bitch, yeah." Dana said. Itachi dropped his luggage and put his arms around Dana.

"No sweetie, I didn't mean unpacking." He decided not to elaborate. "Come on, let's get changed and head for the slopes." Itachi encouraged her.

And yet in another unique situation we have this occurring….

"Marisol, what is al dente, yeah?" Deidara pronounced this word 'all dent'. Marisol looked surprised.

"Deidara! You're like 1,2,3,4,5,6,….." Marisol was counting quietly on her fingers. Finally she shook her head in frustration. "Okay, so I can't figure the percentage, but you're like a lot Italian and you don't know al dente?!" Marisol also pronounced this 'all dent.'

"No, my dad was too busy teaching me about quality fabrics, but he did tell me that it's like a food word, yeah. So, what is it?" Deidara asked.

"Oh, I don't know either." Marisol said happily examining the menu. However, she became dreadfully confused. "Oh my god! Pancetta? Deidara what's a Pancetta?" Marisol looked at him. Deidara was thinking…that was dangerous for him.

"I swear I think it's like a dog or something, yeah." Deidara said. "You know, I have an idea. Let's just get the pizza. We know what that is, and we know what's on it, yeah." Deidara said with shining blue eyes. Marisol stared at him as if she were in love.

"You always come up with great ideas." Marisol said. "Hey do you drink wine with pizza? Oh wait, no, that's beer. Hey do you want one!?" Marisol glistened all over. Deidara looked at her with love sick eyes.

"Marisol, you're the sweetest girl in the whole world, yeah."

And when we return, a glimpse into Hidan's evening….


	3. Chapter 3 The Cake Walk

"YEEEEAHHHHHHH! WOOOOOOOOO! The strawberry cupcakes! God, that's the 4th desert item I've won tonight, seriously." Hidan said to the senior citizen beside him. Of course he had pissed off like every senior there because he was winning all the baked goods. So far he had scored the strawberry cupcakes, a lemon chiffon cake, German chocolate brownies, and butterscotch cookies. However in this next round, he was really hoping to win. It was a full size chocolate wedding cake with yellow cake on the inside and chocolate icing with chocolate shavings. He figured if he won that he would take it home and split it with Kisame. And there was just something about cake walking to Lawrence Welk classic tunes…it was so….1950's. But Hidan loved it! Not to mention there was all the free punch and pretzels you wanted. But now it was time for the 1950's doo wop classic 'Baby Love' to begin….and the seniors…and Hidan began to make their way around the circle. Most people hobbled around on canes and walkers and sometimes Hidan did get a little aggressive and slightly poke people with his giant scythe. After all, this was Hidan's Super Bowl and he wasn't about to let a senior with fanny pack full of tissues take his prizes. After 4 minutes of agonizing repetitions around the circle it was time to draw the number of the winner…

"Number 14…..14 folks….14 is the winner of the chocolate 4 tier wedding cake!" Oh that's right, I forgot to mention earlier that it was 4 tiers high.

"YEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! THAT'S ME! THAT'S ME! THAT'S ME!" Hidan nearly knocked over the senior bingo/card table in order to get to the giant cake. Have fun Hidan, have fun….

Meanwhile at the boat and RV show Kakuzu had so many free pieces of paperwork and stupid brochures for campers and boats that he would NEVER buy that he had to go find a complimentary plastic bag from one of the booths. However, Kakuzu spotted a huge RV that was at least 45 feet long.

"Wooooooooow…..Akatsuki needs this!" And so Kakuzu began asking questions.

"Hmmm…so you're in a super evil organization who's motives are not exactly clear but you have reason to believe that your leader wants global domination?" a salesman asked Kakuzu after talking to him for a few moments.

"Yeah! That's us!" Kakuzu said.

"This RV is perfect for you! Just think about it! You said there's an evil genius in the group who loves fashion. Well, this RV has an ironing board with an iron capable of producing 3rd degree burns! As for your shark friend? A built in aquarium! And for the dumb blonde in your life? Look! Road maps for dummies!" The salesman had Kakuzu right where he wanted him. Kakuzu squealed.

"And let's not forget your plant friend! With all these skylights he can absorb the sun all through the day!" Man this salesman was good.

"And what about payments?" Kakuzu asked.

"I'm glad you asked!" the salesman whipped out a calculator. "Only 789 dollars per month for 48 months!" At that moment Kakuzu got sidetracked by a huge yacht on the other side of the arena. It was probably a good thing or else Akatsuki would be paying for something they probably didn't even want in the first place.

"Man Seinfeld is so great! This was a great idea!" Zetsu said as he and Kisame were indulging in the Seinfeld seasons. Sasori was still creating his own misery because he had boycotted Seinfeld and now he was rearranging pots and pans in the kitchen cabinets. As for Tobi, he was currently occupied in the utility room doing laundry. Usually he wasn't allowed to do laundry. One time he washed the darks and the whites together and needless to say…..Itachi was not pleased with this. Tobi ruined his white Calvin Klein shirt. But it was safe now. Tobi was washing the sheets, surely no one could ruin sheets, right?

"Sasori! Which fabric softener? The spring scent or orange rush?" Tobi asked.

"Don't care Tobi!" Sasori told him. Well, that's not what anyone should say to Tobi. And was it really smart to leave him unattended in the utility room?

"AAAAAGGGGHHHHHHH, AAAAAAAGGGGHHHHHHHHH, AAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHHHH, YEAH!"

"DANA! DANA! DANA! Dana calm down sweetie." Dana had her finger nails practically dug through Itachi's oversized Columbia ski coat. "Dana, we only moved 6 inches down the slope and we're both still alive. Dana and skiing weren't getting along very well at this point. She was practically tangled up in her skis and she had nearly pushed Itachi over.

"Okay, okay well maybe I should try again, yeah. Wow, that was like almost one of those out of death experiences, yeah." Dana said still slightly panting from fearing she would die on the skis.

"Honey, I think it's called a near death experience." Itachi said.

"Oh, okay. Well let's try to get to the bottom, yeah." Dana said. It was kind of surprising that Dana would agree to do this super scary ski thing. And if either of them actually got hurt, Itachi would be too dramatic to actually help her and Dana would be much too blonde to help him. If they made it off this ski slope alive there was a Jacuzzi waiting on them back at the lodge.

"So are you and Itachi going to apply for that job at Dior?" Marisol asked.

"We definitely are, yeah. And the best part is that my dad has a lot of pull with Dior, yeah. Itachi and I are like totally excited, yeah."

"Get this! There's this new girl starting at Prada next week. The other girl that worked there got fired because she was caught in the back of the store with one of the managers. The manager so got fired too." Marisol said. Deidara look only slightly confused.

"You mean she's getting fired just because she was in the back of the store with a manager, yeah?" Deidara asked.

"Well, she was kind of giving him a blow job. That gets you fired." Marisol told him.

"Ooooh, yeah that would get someone fired, yeah." Deidara said.

"Anyway, so I get to be the new girl's mento!" Marisol said with shinning eyes.

"You mean one of those people that shows her what to wear and how to run the store and how to pick out good shoes, yeah?" Deidara asked.

"Yes!" Marisol beamed. Although she meant mentor….not mento no one would ever know….


	4. Chapter 4 Sore Dana and the new sheets

It was about 10:00. Kakuzu came stumbling through the door, however no one heard him coming into the apartment because stupid Tobi had put too much fabric softener into the washer and now Sasori and Tobi were mopping up the utility room where suds and water had spewed everywhere. Sasori was so pissed at Tobi he could have thrown him across the room. Zetsu and Kisame were laughing so hard at Seinfeld that they didn't hear Kakuzu come in either.

"Hey uhhh….why is there so much water and bubbles coming from the utility room?" he asked sitting down two giant bags full of boat and RV brochures.

"Oh that? Well, Sasori was retarded and he let Tobi wash the sheets. And now the sheets are a sudsy mess and they have to be rewashed." Kisame said calmly.

"Oh okay." Kakuzu said just as calmly. "Hey do you guys have any pizza left I'm starving."

"Yeah it's sitting there on the counter, just warm it up. Oh and disregard the fact that everything in this apartment spells like fucking orange rush. Stupid fabric softener…" Zetsu said. Kakuzu listened as Sasori screamed at Tobi some more. "By the way, I signed us up to receive 12 issues of RV monthly! There was a display at the show today." Kisame and Zetsu were too busy laughing at Seinfeld to have heard this horror.

"Sorry, sorry, Kakuzu. What did you say?" Kisame asked.

"I signed us up to receive 12 issues of RV monthly the magazine!" Kakuzu said delighted.

"Well, that's….just…okay whatever." Zetsu said dryly.

"No! No Tobi! Let ME rewash the sheets! God! Just get out of here and sit down in the living room and don't do anything retarded!" Sasori hissed. There was a pounding at the door. The carefree Tobi opened the door only to reveal a pasty wielding Hidan.

"Guys! Guys, check this out! I won 14 different pastries at the cakewalk tonight, really! And on a more disturbing note, a senior citizen lady gave me her phone number! Come and help me carry all these deserts in!" Hidan said happily. So Tobi knew he could help Hidan carry in all the delicious baked treats. Pretty soon the kitchen would look like a bakery.

"Hey, really, do you guys smell that orange fabric softener?" Hidan asked sniffing the apartment.

"Itachi, I'm really sorry I made you run into that tree, yeah." Dana said remorsefully. Of course she was straddling Itachi's lap in the Jacuzzi so it pretty much made the whole situation better.

"It's okay sweetie, at least the coat was thick and it kept the back from scraping me up." Itachi told her.

"You know, we are going to be like so sore tomorrow, yeah." Dana said.

"True, but Dana let me tell you. You're going to be much sorer than I am." Itachi told her.

"Itachi, after that whole balance thing I had to do on those skis today there is like no way I can get on top of you, yeah." Dana said.

"It's okay sweetie. You just lie underneath me and I'll take care of the rest." Itachi was so reassuring.

"Well, we just have one problem, yeah. I can't move to get out of this Jacuzzi because I'm practically glued to your lap, yeah. I think it's from where my hips are so sore from twisting to dodge all those little kids, yeah." Dana said.

"You know, I don't know if I can actually get up out of this thing with you because my back hurts from getting knocked over by the ski lift." Itachi just held on to her.

"Itachi, I got you a Tivo for Valentine's Day. But it's on the other side of the room, yeah." Dana said still not moving.

"You know, I got a Valentino dress. I thought it was really gorgeous. I would show it to you, but that's not going to work out right now." Itachi told her.

"Well, I'm sure it's beautiful, yeah." Dana said. It seemed that these two were going to have a difficult evening.

Deidara and Marisol arrived at her apartment late. Although, her roommates weren't back from whatever they were doing yet.

"Oh my god, Deidara do you want to know what I got you for Valentine's Day?" Marisol asked grabbing both his hands and leaning into him.

"Okay, yeah." Deidara answered her. Marisol scurried away and quickly returned with a box in her hands.

"Now, open it!" she encouraged. Deidara did exactly as instructed.

"Oh my god, I swear I think I'm going to have a Caesar, yeah! Yes, Deidara meant seizure.

"Do you love it!?" Marisol squeaked. Marisol had gotten Deidara the much sought after brand new Hotel Collection comforter and matching sheet set.

"I love it Marisol I love it!" He squeezed her to pieces and gave her one of those kisses that said 'there's more to come'. However he quickly snapped back because he was dying to present Marisol with what he had got for her. "Okay baby, here's yours….open it up, yeah!" Deidara laughed like a little ecstatic kid.

"Oh my god! Deidara! This is like…oh god…it's just like so…I LOVE IT!" Marisol tackled her boyfriend. Deidara, the ultimate gift-giver got her a Chanel wallet with a matching shoulder bag. But at this point, let's get real….it was only a matter of time before Marisol brought out the sex crazed man that Deidara was supposed to be. And since she was getting ready to change into her pink tank top and her completely non coordinated blue panties…she would have no trouble doing this.

Naturally, this isn't over yet. Sasori had made Tobi go to his bedroom and stay there the rest of the night. Kakuzu had gotten into the strawberry cupcakes much to Hidan's anger. Kisame and Zetsu were getting ready to call it a night since they had been watching Seinfeld for 5 hours. What would the next day bring when Itachi and Deidara returned home?


	5. Chapter 5 Welcome Home

Kakuzu ate too many cupcakes the night before and he was currently laying on the couch in pain. He kept whining about how strawberry flavor was still stuck in his mouth. Kisame and Zetsu were starting their morning slow with coffee and the daily paper. Hidan was still pissed about the whole strawberry cupcake thing and so he was still in bed avoiding the stupid Kakuzu. Tobi was very content snipping the little strings off the tea bags in the kitchen. Itachi would probably kill him for that later. Itachi hated it when the strings were missing on the tea bags.

At another apartment, Marisol had just opened her sleepy eyes.

"Good morning, baby." She said happily wrapping her arms around Deidara. Deidara didn't really say anything that was comprehendible he just wrapped her up in his arms and refused to let her go.

"I had fun last night, yeah." He finally whispered to her.

"Me too!" Marisol said already gitty. "You know what, I know my roommates are here….but I really don't care how jealous they get…I'm going to kiss you until you make me moan." Marisol told him. Deidara truly had no trouble resisting her that morning. It was only a matter of time until Marisol started screaming Deidara's name and her roommates would grit their teeth in jealousy. As for our other happy couple?

"Oh my god, Itachi! It was such a good idea to come to breakfast here, yeah." Dana beamed as she and Itachi were overlooking the mountainous range before then as they awaited their waiter.

"Yeah, I heard this lodge had excellent breakfast so I called before we got here. So baby, are you sore from last night?" Itachi asked her through dark seductive eyes.

"Oh god, Itachi I swear…" Dana paused and got very serious. "Like, the way your hair fell in my face and stuff, yeah. Oh god, I could so tell you used that new Paul Mitchell straightening cream because it smelled like so amazing, yeah. And the way you made me scream when you shoved your…."

"Hi! How are you two today!" Thank god Dana was interrupted by the waiter at the lodge. "Can I start you two off with a beverage this morning?"

"I would like to have an espresso double shot." Itachi said.

"Cappucino, no cream, foam only, yeah." Dana said. And with their drink orders the waiter took off.

"I'm really glad we got a room here for the weekend." Itachi told Dana.

"Me too, yeah. I mean we couldn't have done what we did in a public Jacuzzi, yeah!" Dana said with shining eyes. Itachi smiled a moment.

"You're right, I never thought of that."

Back at our favorite apartment….Hidan had finally finished cramming all his deserts into various places so the kitchen wouldn't look like a bakery had exploded. However, he had stuck the 4 tiered chocolate wedding cake on top of the washer. It hadn't yet been planned how they would do any laundry with a cake in the way.

"Hey, check out my new ring tone! It's that Pussycat Dolls song about the buttons." Sasori said.

"Sasori, you shouldn't get ring tones that you aren't even sure what the names are." Zetsu said.

"What? I know the name it's that song about…you know loosening my buttons." Zetsu rolled his eyes. He wasn't going to argue with Sasori over such a trivial matter.

"I'm going to take all of these Seinfeld DVD's back to the video rental place. Does anyone need anything while I'm out?" Kisame asked.

"Oh! Oh! Oh! Kisame! I need stamps!" Tobi beamed.

"Tobi, why do you always need stamps every time we go out?"

"I mail things to 'the leader'." Tobi answered.

"Whatever." Kisame picked up all the DVD's and mumbled to himself. "Someday we'll discover that Tobi's a true evil genius mastermind and he'll make Itachi look like a Sesame Street character." And Kisame left. The apartment was actually very calm that morning. Well, at least it was calm until Deidara came falling through the door. He literally stumbled through the door and was now leaning up against the door breathing heavily. No one said anything at first. Deidara dropped his overnight bag on the floor beside him.

"Deidara, your skin is really pale and blotchy right now. Is his something we might as well not know about?" Sasori asked. Deidara didn't say anything for a moment.

"So did you run over here, seriously?" Hidan asked. Still no response.

"Deidara what the fuck is wrong with you!" Sasori demanded.

"MY GIRLFRIEND IS SO HOT, YEAH! OH MY GOD…I need to lay down, I just need to lay down, yeah. Just need to get off my feet before I collapse, yeah. Going to lay down, yeah." Deidara kept talking as he slowly walked down the hall and closed his bedroom door behind him.

"Well, I think it's no secret what Deidara's been doing for the past 24 hours." Sasori said spitefully.

"Dude, he left his clothes unpacked in his bag right there by the couch…Deidara never does that!" Kisame said pausing for a moment. "That girl must be an absolute wild piece of…"

"You know Kisame don't even finish that, I think we get the idea." Zetsu remarked.

"I swear I think that's the first time I've ever seen Deidara's hair so…messy." Sasori had just realized. Needless to say, no one saw Deidara for 6 more hours. However, by 8:00 that evening….Itachi came barreling through the door.

"Hey, how was your trip!?" Itachi didn't answer at first. He looked around with his piles of luggage surrounding him. "where's Deidara."

"He's been asleep for the past six hours, seriously. I would love to know exactly what he did last night." Hidan said.

"Okay, good, now I can REALLY tell you how my trip was! God, Dana is so amazingly, INCREDIBLY…." Itachi was interrupted by a still exhausted Deidara.

"Oh my god, you are like so back, yeah. You really need to come with me and let me tell you about my last 24 hours, yeah. Oh my god, what's with all the baked stuff in the utility room, yeah? Is that a chocolate wedding cake? I want some, yeah!" Deidara said getting a fork out of the kitchen drawer.

"Well, I want some too. Come on Deidara we'll close the door and I'll tell you what an amazing lover your sister is." Itachi said dropping his bags and heading for the cake that Hidan had won.

"I want to come too!" Kakuzu whined.

"Kakuzu! There is absolutely nothing you could contribute to their conversation that would be worth while, god!" Hidan yelled at him.

"But I want to eat the cake with them!" Kakuzu whined some more.

"You know what let him come, the minute me or Deidara start talking about a woman's anatomy he'll be running back out here screaming." Itachi said.

Well, it had been a great Valentine's Day after all. It seemed that everyone had spent it exactly as they wanted it and now life was back to normal….although it was filled with cake…

Sorry it took me so long to finish this. I've been sick. Just to let you know the next adventure with our favorite criminal organization will be rather short, because I'm making plans for a very large adventure. Up next: Akatsuki Job Interview. Look for it soon!


End file.
